Day 51: Cut Cut Cut

"Some of the worst mistakes of my life have been haircuts." Jim Morrison

I'll just put it out there right now, I'm not against men cutting hair. I'm sure they are just as talented as women at cutting and styling and perming and primping and whatever else, but I have learned from experience to never let men cut my hair. My hair is fine, and thin, and tricky. Like me (well, at least that last adjective describes me). And men don't seem to know how to handle my hair, or me.

A couple years ago my favorite hairstylist moved and I was in desperate need of a cut. My sister recommended this place she had gone to, so I tried it out. I walked into the salon and it was pretty busy, but I went up to the counter to ask about the wait. The receptionist said they had one person available, and I thought, "Lucky me!" But then I saw who it was. Coming towards me was a man. Not just any man, but a big, burly, mullet man. His fingers were the size of deli pickles. (Had I walked into a salon, or a gas station at a truck stop?) With all my heart, I wanted to run out of there, but then I thought, how bad could it be? He got a job here, didn't he? I sat down in his chair and told him what I wanted. He looked at my hair, looked at me and said, "I'm a beautician, not a magician." He actually said that to me three more times during the haircut. I'll let you guess how that one turned out.

My sister is getting married tomorrow, and my straggly hair was looking pretty bad so I thought to myself, I've had short hair before, it looks good, it's time for a haircut. I went to a salon where my sister got a great haircut. I walked in, and of course the only person available was a man. He was a little Asian man named Bill, which was opposite from my last man-cut experience, so I thought I'd go with it. The entire time he kept saying, your hair is so difficult to cut, it's so hard. I told him, if you can't handle it, I'll wait for someone else, but Bill was determined to conquer his Everest. Well, he did it. He cut it. All I can say is, my quest for marriage will have to be put on hold until my hair grows out. I'm pretty sure "butch softball player" or "least feminine haircut outside of West Virginia" is not going to help me out.