Day 51: Cut Cut Cut

"Some of the worst mistakes of my life have been haircuts." Jim Morrison

I'll just put it out there right now, I'm not against men cutting hair. I'm sure they are just as talented as women at cutting and styling and perming and primping and whatever else, but I have learned from experience to never let men cut my hair. My hair is fine, and thin, and tricky. Like me (well, at least that last adjective describes me). And men don't seem to know how to handle my hair, or me.

A couple years ago my favorite hairstylist moved and I was in desperate need of a cut. My sister recommended this place she had gone to, so I tried it out. I walked into the salon and it was pretty busy, but I went up to the counter to ask about the wait. The receptionist said they had one person available, and I thought, "Lucky me!" But then I saw who it was. Coming towards me was a man. Not just any man, but a big, burly, mullet man. His fingers were the size of deli pickles. (Had I walked into a salon, or a gas station at a truck stop?) With all my heart, I wanted to run out of there, but then I thought, how bad could it be? He got a job here, didn't he? I sat down in his chair and told him what I wanted. He looked at my hair, looked at me and said, "I'm a beautician, not a magician." He actually said that to me three more times during the haircut. I'll let you guess how that one turned out.

My sister is getting married tomorrow, and my straggly hair was looking pretty bad so I thought to myself, I've had short hair before, it looks good, it's time for a haircut. I went to a salon where my sister got a great haircut. I walked in, and of course the only person available was a man. He was a little Asian man named Bill, which was opposite from my last man-cut experience, so I thought I'd go with it. The entire time he kept saying, your hair is so difficult to cut, it's so hard. I told him, if you can't handle it, I'll wait for someone else, but Bill was determined to conquer his Everest. Well, he did it. He cut it. All I can say is, my quest for marriage will have to be put on hold until my hair grows out. I'm pretty sure "butch softball player" or "least feminine haircut outside of West Virginia" is not going to help me out.

Day 38: Beauty Queen

"It sometimes happens that a woman is handsomer at twenty nine than she was ten years before." Jane Austen

I am twenty nine. And today I was beautiful. You know those days when you walk around, and you're sure that every man you pass is watching you walk past because you look THAT good. Well today was that day.

There were some important people coming to work today, so I put aside the slacks and shape-shifting sweaters, pulled out the new dress and the heels, did my hair and make up, and walked out of the house with the confidence of a woman who could be a part time model (but she'd probably still have to keep her normal job).

Here's the tally: three "Wow, you look beautiful today"(Okay, one of those three was a woman, but I'm still counting it), two whistles (And they weren't ethnic...they were white guys. I never get white guy whistles), three double takes (yes, I looked and I counted), and two guys going awkwardly out of their way to talk to me about something pointless (I like to think they were trying to think of an excuse to come talk to me).

Yes, it was one of those days.

Day 34: Coward?

"Only grown up men are scared of women." Kurt from The Sound of Music

I dated a guy once that openly told me he was a coward. And it was true. He was afraid of a lot of things. Dating, for one thing (that was a hurdle to get over). And women. And confrontation. And life, probably. At the time I thought that was unusual for a man. Now, I'm beginning to think it's more typical.

I was at a party, walking past this guy (who is cute, in case you were wondering) and he said, "Hi Kelly." I was a little taken back since we had never spoken before, and I wasn't sure how he knew my name. So I said, "Hi. How'd you know my name? If you know my name, why don't you ever talk to me?" He jokingly hid behind his friend, and told me it's because he was afraid of women. Typical. I just said okay and walked away.

This is my new tactic, to help me be less frightening to men. Short conversations, where I just walk away. it's working pretty well with this guy, since he came to find me to talk to me again...I'll keep you posted.

Day 29: Marry Who You Date

"Marry me, because I'd like to date you." Ryan Reynolds in The Proposal

If someone were to tell me that I avoid marriage by dating guys that I would never marry, they wouldn't be far from the truth. I dated a thug for about ten months, but it was never moving in the direction of marriage. Did I get anything from it? Yes, I became a rather good graffiti artist, learned some street slang, and tripled the Hip Hop music on my Ipod. Did I get a husband out of it? Well, the fact that you're reading this blog answers that question.

So, before any of you get too excited about my Second Chance Man, I'm going to try to get married by not pursuing him. Did we have a good time yesterday? Sure. Is he Mormon? No. Will I marry him? Not likely. Will I be his friend? Absolutely. I guess part of trying to get married is sticking to guys that you know you could potentially marry...so that's it.

Day 27: Second Chances

“Take chances, make mistakes. That's how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave.” Mary Tyler Moore

I love second chances, even more than first chances. Doesn't it feel great to regret something, and then get a chance to fix it? Like every good chick flick, where everything goes horribly wrong and is irreparable, and then by some miracle, the characters get a second chance and it ends happily ever after. Or like the times I pass a Steak and Shake and don't stop to buy a Frisco Melt. But then, before I leave the Midwest, I magically find another one, and get my second chance Frisco Melt.

(I would move to the Midwest for this alone.)

Or like the time I was "culturally insensitive" to the handsome man (see Day 24), and then I did see him again. I saw him today and I almost walked away, remembering our previous conversation. But, I didn't. I went up to him, we had a charming conversation, which ended in an exchange of phone numbers and plans for tomorrow.

Day 24: Say that again?

"I've said some stupid things and some wrong things..." Bill Gates

I have a problem. I say things without thinking. Whenever I'm with my friend, in public, and I turn to talk to him, he many times will say, "Kelly. Stop. Think about it. Is it an appropriate thing to say? Is this an appropriate time and place to talk about that?" And then I stop, and I think about it, and most of the time, it's not. So I don't say it. I wish I could carry him around in my pocket all day to stop me from saying things I shouldn't.

Here are just a few of the things I've accidentally let slip out of my mouth. After one week of dating, my boyfriend told me he loved me. Then I told him I loved him too, even tough I didn't love him. A week after I got my job, in an all employee meeting, I jokingly called my boss a liar in front of everyone. This week I accidentally said something culturally insensitive to a beautiful Jewish man-he really was beautiful...I'm hoping he can forget that little conversation before I see him again.

I'm committed to using my brain. I'm going to start thinking before I say things. Hopefully.