Today I watched Hello Dolly!, a great movie with lots of advice on how to catch a man. Here's what I learned:
- Constantly tell him how charming, strong, and handsome he is.
- Send other men to visit the girl he really wants to marry, and have him catch her hiding the other men in his closet. That'll get rid of her and leave you as the next best option.
- You can fill an entire song with all the chores women can do so men won't have to do them - So prepare yourself for a life of indentured servitude.
- Wear big puke green feathers in your hair.
- Set him up with women you know he'll hate.
- Sneakily plant the idea in his head to marry you by repeatedly suggesting that he wants to marry you, but you don't want to marry him.
- Encourage everyone else in his life to abandon him so that he is bitterly alone. Once he is in despair and completely alone, with no one to make his breakfast for him, he''ll realize you aren't such a bad option after all. Nevermind that fact that minutes before he detested the idea of you. At least you could clean up after him and cook for him.
Ah, I have always loved this movie. I never realized how much it could teach me until now.
Yeah, marriage!...?
ReplyDeletePuke green feathers will be the perfect compliment to your neutral-colored tight jeans, tank and fitted jacket. What an inspirational film for you!
ReplyDeleteI always knew there was a reason Dad and I had you girls watch this movie!!!! :}
ReplyDeleteThank you Mom for steering me in the right direction at such a young age. And Brit, you should be my new fashion consultant. I'm pretty sure I'd go far with you.
ReplyDeleteGag me with a silver spoon! Let me count the ways media is sooo destructive.
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